


Simple, But Hard Words To Admit

by crowleys_moose



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anxiety, Fluff, Gay Sam Winchester, M/M, Sassy, Sastiel - Freeform, Supportive Dean Winchester, anxiety about coming out, brotherly love between sam and dean wooo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-04-18 14:09:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4708814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crowleys_moose/pseuds/crowleys_moose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam wants to come out to Dean, but is scared. He also has a huge crush on Cas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Simple, But Hard Words To Admit

**Author's Note:**

> This is gonna be part 1 because I'm trash

How hard is it to say the words “I’m gay”? For some, it’s not that hard, and for others, it’s a struggle to say it.   
  
And then there’s Sam Winchester.  
  
He’s not ashamed of his identity, but he’s scared to tell Dean. Growing up, him and his older brother have always dated girl. Dean has tried setting him up with girls, sometimes succeeding, most of the time failing. The thought has always terrified the younger Winchester because in his mind, Sam telling Dean that he likes guys is gonna be what makes Dean disappointed. Don’t ask him how that works.   
  
Sam was alone in the bunker, and his mind jogged through the possible reactions Dean might have. The possible negative reactions didn’t soothe his anxiety. He chewed on his nails, staring at the wall in front of him. His mind drifted off into any other place except reality. For some reason, Sam has always seen a future with Castiel. The two of them living in a city, him as a successful lawyer and Castiel as a model, maybe. Castiel is perfect as a model. He could see them having children. Well, not having, but adopting. When Sam was with Jess, he wanted two kids, a daughter and a son.   
  
That still hasn’t changed. Sam could see Castiel being an amazing father, being the one who sets the rules. Not that Sam wouldn’t set rules in their future household, but he could see Cas being the “dominant parent”.  Sam smiled at the thought of Castiel holding their adopted new adopted daughter or son. He’d be firm, but still so loving.   
  
A lot of people, mainly guys, never thought about this (and for good reason, Dean would always tell him), but Sam sometimes wondered what it would be like if he could get pregnant and have children of his own. He could see the daughter having mainly Castiel’s features, and the son mainly having his features.   
  
“We would have beautiful kids,” Sam murmured, smiling bigger now.  
  
“You and who would have beautiful kids?” a voice interrupted his thoughts behind him.  
  
The younger Winchester jumped nearly two feet in the air, drawing his gun and putting it down admittedly when he saw who it was.   
  
“You think out loud too much, Sammy,” Dean laughed at his brother’s glare, a plastered smirk on his face “what’s up?”  
  
Oh god this it. This is it. He’s gonna do it, and he’s gonna say it with confidence, and oh who’s he kidding, Sam’s gonna disappoint his brother, Cas is gonna hate him everybody’s gonna hate him-  
  
“Sammy?” Dean asked softly, looking at his brother with pursed lips. He knows something is up, there’s no point in not telling Dean now.  
  
“Dean...I’m gay, and I have a humongous crush on Cas.”  
  
Sam tightened his lips, looking into his green eyes he shared, for some sign of disgust. No sign of disgust. Any sign of anger? None. His heart rate increased, and he chewed on his lower lip. Dean being this quiet doesn’t help either.  
  
“I know, Sam. I’ve known all along. Dad and I knew. We didn’t want to out you if it was true,” Dean reassured, soft tone in his voice “and Cas, huh?” Sam nodded, afraid to use words.  
  
“I’ve heard your name being moaned. Don’t give me that look, I was getting a beer and a sandwich, I wasn’t listening,” Dean said, realizing how hard Sam’s crush is by the glare he got “tell him. You can do it, Sammy.” Dean ruffled his hair and walked off to the table to eat.   
  
Encouraged by his older brother’s words, Sam took a deep breath and walked out of his room. He can do this. He can tell Castiel he loves him. **  
**


End file.
